The fast is Complete

       My fast is finally over (well technically its been over for a couple of days but still) and I have come away from it with some thoughts. My first and most important thought is this, taking away 1 thing from your life in order to gain more of God is kind of missing the point. I started off strong because everyday in place of where I would normally watch Conan I would do my quiet time, but after a while my desire to do either of those things faded. I think it happened because I focused too hard on just moving 1 thing down on my priority list when what I really should have been doing was putting God at the top of that list and let me tell you it's not an easy thing to do. I can honestly say that I love God so much and I am extremely grateful for all the ways that he has been blessing my life but my actions don't always reflect that. My point is that just because you move out 1 thing thats stopping you from connecting to God that doesn't mean that you will instantly get closer to him. Our daily walk is about being in the constant pursuit of God, a constant attempt to put him first and before ourselves. And that's what I've learned from this fast.

New Years Resolutions: Okay so here are my resolutions and forgive me if they sound a bit corny.

• This is the year that I want to put integrity before popularity. So often I have found myself compromising my integrity for popularity, in very subtle way's mind you, but they are compromises none the less.
• I want to strengthen my self control. From my diet to the things I watch on TV, I want 2011 to be the year where I finally learn to control myself.
• I would like to become a peacemaker. So the more I think about it the more I realize that I love conflict, and not just that I love taking sides on a topic. I want this to be the year that I take the side of peace and realize that the majority of the things that I end up arguing about are totally not worth it

Anyway, I think I have decided to start reading 1 John so expect more blog posts soon.

Thanx

I get tired of counting the days...

        It's laziness really. I am still fasting from watching Conan, I feel like that habit has been completely broken already. If I was healthier I would like to go on an actual fast from food (since that habits a bit harder to break). I have really been questioning my integrity lately, both in the big and little details of life. A lot of nights I stay awake thinking there must be something more that I could do to grow closer to God. A lot of times I turn on my laptop and open up Google Chrome and just stare at the login page to Facebook. I always think "this is the internet right, there must be somewhere i could go or something that I could do that would just make a difference". It's not like I'm looking to change the would or anything (although that sounds pretty cool) I just wanna change myself. Some days I feel like I've gotten as close to God as possible without actually touching him, like standing on the brim of a volcano. It's all right there in front of my face and I can even feel it from where I'm standing but I'm just not in it.
      Today I started to read Crazy Love, well technically I only read the preface but that was enough to inspire me to sit down and write. It seems like it should be a good book and I know a lot of people who recommend it. I have high expectations for this book and I hope that it will help me to grow but I always find that I have to be careful around Christian book, not that there has ever been anything wrong with the ones that I've read, but just that sometimes when they're really good I start to let them interfere with my quiet time. As far as quiet time goes I have yet to decide on a new chapter to read so I decided to pick up one of the couple of devotional books I have in my room. I actually decided to really pray about which book I should start to read because, since I really do feel that my quiet time has a big impact on my day, I really think that choosing what to read is important.
     I think it's time for a change in my life (that has absolutely nothing to do with new years). The essence of this change is God himself. So many times before I have tried to give God bigger and bigger parts of my life. Now I really feel like i just want to give him the whole thing and see what he does with it. If you read this pray for me because I need it.

Technically Day 18

Today is Day 18 in of my Conan Fast and I have succeeded and failed in a lot of ways. Christmas and all of it's business has distracted me so much that within the past 2 weeks I have only had about 2 or 3 quiet times. I was also at my Grandmothers house for the past week which left me without internet. I wish I had done better but Its not a big deal I will continue on. Christmas is a simple yet complicated Holiday. It is simply the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, but we've changed it into much more. We decided to make it about shopping and receiving gifts and having big family get together's, and a lot of the time it gets crazy, I know it did in my family. Leading up to Christmas our family time at my Grandmothers house was hectic, theres was tons of fighting and arguing mostly among my immediate family and it started to get crazy. When I start to pay more attention to these little arguments I start to realize just how they come about and it mostly has to do with us being self centered. being to quick to get angry, and too quick to get into conflict. A lot of times I try and make peace in my family specifically between my brother and sister but to be honest I think I'm horrible at it. Most of the times in trying to negotiate through arguments I end up taking a side which leads to putting down one of my siblings and honestly I really hate it. I wish there was some other way that I could get them to stop. I really wish there could be some peace in my family all the time. My wish was momentarily granted on Christmas eve. We all got into the car and drove to my Grandmas church which is small, rundown and predominantly Spanish speaking and listened to a couple of songs and a short sermon (or at least I did, my brother and sister don't really know Spanish). When it was over we all went back to my Grandmas house and did a small gift exchange, then got some gifts from my parents, and then some gifts from my uncle. When that was over we sat around and played bingo for a while, and then we all sat down and watched TV. That was it. There was nothing that was awesome, nothing so amazing and surprising that had never happened before, it was just peace, and I loved it. I wish every day could be peaceful but I don't know what to do. I feel as the oldest child there has to be something that I could do but I just don't know. Pray for me. I'm about to finish up 2 Corinthians but I don't know which chapter to do next. If you have any ideas go ahead and comment below, thanks.

Day 7 (Officially Marking 1 Week)

Just thought I'd post something else today besides my quiet time (which i did and will post tomorrow). I've been feeling the conviction of what I have been reading little by little lately. The last two chapters have been about tithing which is nearly impossible for me to do without a job. All my money comes from my parents and I need it just to put enough gas in my car to make it to school. I feel like the only way that I could hold down a serious consistent tithe would be to get a job, but I'm not sure that that's what God wants me to be doing right now. I know that it sounds weird and almost like a cop out to say that I don't have a job because God doesn't want me to have one but a lot of times I really think its true. I apply for jobs all the time, and recently I even got a couple of interviews but things just never seem to pan out. And besides the fact that no jobs seem readily available for me I am also busy with other things. I have school which(I won't lie) I devote the minimum amount of time possible to, BSM activities which probably take up the majority of my time, then theres Less Than Three Mission which I've been working on which Sergio, and last but especially not least I've been writing songs (weird I know). Anyway I by no means think that any one of these things is more important than supporting my family but like I said I've tried before to get a job and nothing really panned out, and to be honest I really don't want a job that badly. Is all of this selfish of me? Should I be trying harder to get a job? I really don't know what to do at this point and prayer would be appreciated. If anyone has any ideas feel free to comment.

Day 6

2 Corinthians 10

God- This passage much like the others says very little specifically about God.

Us- We should avoid arguments. I know that there are a lot of people who don't agree with this, in fact the whole idea of apologetics seems to be based around arguing the case for Christ, but we should not be quick to argue. Matthew 5: 9 says "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God". We should not be doormats and we should never back down from defending the gospel but we should be slow to conflict and quick to make peace. We should boast in Christ and in Christ only. Boasting is not something that is never really encouraged but there is no reason that we should not boast in Christ. As it says in verses 17 and 18 "Let the one who boasts boast in the lord," For it is not the one who commends himself that is approved, but the one who the Lord commends". 

Like- Verse 4 "The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have  divine power to demolish strongholds.". 

Summery- Paul makes his appeal at the beginning of this passage because people had been speaking against him. Those in the church who opposed him had been talking about Paul and about how he was all talk, speaking boldly when he wrote letters to the church but in person being as timid as anyone else. Paul knew exactly what he was doing and reminds the church of this. Paul knew that gentleness is required in order to effectively rebuke someone. He points out to them that his goal is to avoid conflict and keep the peace. In verses 7-11 he continues to explain the point of his letters and how they are meant for rebuking with tact and not for conflict or frightening the members of the church

Application- I think the main application you should get out of this passage is that we should be peacemakers and not argument starters.

FYI: I actually really wanted to watch Conan today but i didn't I know it seems funny but it's true. I'm still going strong.